Run with me in the rain of thoughts...

Okay...you know why I have set such topics...yes...my mother just yelled, no..screamed at us (my sisters and I) again. I came home after meeting my boyfriend and within 20 minutes, she screams at my elder sister for lying on the bed reading the Harry Potter book.

Mum: "Let me catch you reading it again on the bed and I'll throw the book away"

Then, she forced us all to eat fruits, saying that we will get constipation if we don't (I don't mind eating fruits actually ^_^)

Then she had us drink packet ginseng that was bought from Eu Yen Seng. I believe it is rather expensive (she says so later...) and I have drank it before, and it tastes bitter but there is sweetness in it too. Anyway, my two sisters, do not like it at all. While I was in the study room typing my stupid journal reviews (sigh..don't wish to talk about it, I heard a big yell from my mum:

"NO! DON'T THROW THAT AWAY! DON'T THROW THAT AWAY! STILL CAN REUSE IT! I TELL YOU DON'T THROW AH!" and then she continued scolding my sister for throwing the ginseng packet away because it is expensive and can be reused twice. My elder sister is rather pissed actually, she don't like to drink ginseng and she hates my mum screaming at her. Anyway, she went into the study room where I am and look at what I was doing.

The next thing I heard from outside is loud thuds in my bedroom, and yells from my mum again:

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO READ ON THE BED YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ISIT! I'LL THROW THE BOOK AWAY IF I STILL SEE YOU ALL READ ON THE BED YOU KNOW! YAO ZI DONG YI DIAN!" Apparently, my younger sister started reading Harry Potter on the bed again.

My mum continues to rant on us reading on the bed and adds on to having phone conversations on the bed as well. Her famous words "yao zi dong yi dian" has been used more than once and all we do is just listen and do our own stuff.

Well, I don't understand why she had to yell at us. When I just returned home, my elder sister said that mum had yelled at her for not folding the washed clothes before dinner. Note yell/scream...not in a gentle way...

After she had her temper on us, she became more dormant and talks to us in a nice way...my elder sister says her friend says that my mum may have psychological problems and should be treated. I do not think so actually...it is either the menopause or just her usual mood swings...or she had a bad day today... whatever...

I didn't mean to rant on her...it is just that she gets to me at times. I know we (the sisters) are rather cold to her and we do not do any house chores. On Thursday, she forced us to sit down in front of her and she ranted on how we are not helping her, how she is a failure in bringing up such daughters, how we take this house for granted, that we are daughters and should do chores and not go out and meet friends, the list goes on.

I understand how she feels, afterall, I do feel that we are rather lazy and irresponsible. I had tried to understand her, please her, do what she wants but all she did is to demand more from me...and it came to a point where I do not know what she wants anymore.

Sometimes, I would like to walk to her and tell her how I feel about her, that her way of teaching is wrong, that scolding brings nothing but more frustration, that understanding us is important, be a supportive mother, not a demanding one...if she can respect us as an individual, I can tell you, our relationship with her will definitely be better...but I doubt I will ever tell her how I feel...I don't want to know how she will react, judging from what I have seen of her...she will most probably yelled at me to shut up and rant on how bad I was to say her and I should be the one thinking about my bad behaviour and so on...

sigh....

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