About
My everyday thoughts and views
Profile
Name: IvyNick: Ironyv
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Birthday: 30 November
Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius
Country: Singapore
Interests: Makeup, Reading books, Reading manga, watching anime, listening to music, slacking
Links
JazerinezPaulSmith
XiaoBai
Interesting Links
Mumblings of Bubblemunche
The Calm One
XiaXue: The supposedly best blogger in
Singapore
Blogskin
Previous Posts
- The end of a chapter
- All about Massage:GSS
- My stupid internet connection:Extreme tiredness
- Projects, Projects and more Projects!!!
- Self Criticism:Self esteem
- 2Cs: Casinos and Chinese
- About myself part 1
- Depressed: Looking back
- Media Planning:Loneliness
- Pictures~~
Archives
- July 2003
- August 2003
- September 2003
- October 2003
- November 2003
- February 2004
- March 2004
- April 2004
- July 2004
- August 2004
- September 2004
- October 2004
- November 2004
- December 2004
- January 2005
- February 2005
- March 2005
- April 2005
- May 2005
- June 2005
Wish List
Digital CameraTo enroll into a makeup class
To go Japan to see my host family
To meet all the friends that I have been longing to meet (look below)
Meeting List
My polytechnic school mates: Jennifer, Changli, Jolene, Kiat, Grace, Sandy..etcMy ex company colleagues: Kelly, Liting, YingChao
My cousins
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Saturday, January 15, 2005
Okay...you know why I have set such topics...yes...my mother just yelled, no..screamed at us (my sisters and I) again. I came home after meeting my boyfriend and within 20 minutes, she screams at my elder sister for lying on the bed reading the Harry Potter book.
Mum: "Let me catch you reading it again on the bed and I'll throw the book away"
Then, she forced us all to eat fruits, saying that we will get constipation if we don't (I don't mind eating fruits actually ^_^)
Then she had us drink packet ginseng that was bought from Eu Yen Seng. I believe it is rather expensive (she says so later...) and I have drank it before, and it tastes bitter but there is sweetness in it too. Anyway, my two sisters, do not like it at all. While I was in the study room typing my stupid journal reviews (sigh..don't wish to talk about it, I heard a big yell from my mum:
"NO! DON'T THROW THAT AWAY! DON'T THROW THAT AWAY! STILL CAN REUSE IT! I TELL YOU DON'T THROW AH!" and then she continued scolding my sister for throwing the ginseng packet away because it is expensive and can be reused twice. My elder sister is rather pissed actually, she don't like to drink ginseng and she hates my mum screaming at her. Anyway, she went into the study room where I am and look at what I was doing.
The next thing I heard from outside is loud thuds in my bedroom, and yells from my mum again:
"I TOLD YOU NOT TO READ ON THE BED YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ISIT! I'LL THROW THE BOOK AWAY IF I STILL SEE YOU ALL READ ON THE BED YOU KNOW! YAO ZI DONG YI DIAN!" Apparently, my younger sister started reading Harry Potter on the bed again.
My mum continues to rant on us reading on the bed and adds on to having phone conversations on the bed as well. Her famous words "yao zi dong yi dian" has been used more than once and all we do is just listen and do our own stuff.
Well, I don't understand why she had to yell at us. When I just returned home, my elder sister said that mum had yelled at her for not folding the washed clothes before dinner. Note yell/scream...not in a gentle way...
After she had her temper on us, she became more dormant and talks to us in a nice way...my elder sister says her friend says that my mum may have psychological problems and should be treated. I do not think so actually...it is either the menopause or just her usual mood swings...or she had a bad day today... whatever...
I didn't mean to rant on her...it is just that she gets to me at times. I know we (the sisters) are rather cold to her and we do not do any house chores. On Thursday, she forced us to sit down in front of her and she ranted on how we are not helping her, how she is a failure in bringing up such daughters, how we take this house for granted, that we are daughters and should do chores and not go out and meet friends, the list goes on.
I understand how she feels, afterall, I do feel that we are rather lazy and irresponsible. I had tried to understand her, please her, do what she wants but all she did is to demand more from me...and it came to a point where I do not know what she wants anymore.
Sometimes, I would like to walk to her and tell her how I feel about her, that her way of teaching is wrong, that scolding brings nothing but more frustration, that understanding us is important, be a supportive mother, not a demanding one...if she can respect us as an individual, I can tell you, our relationship with her will definitely be better...but I doubt I will ever tell her how I feel...I don't want to know how she will react, judging from what I have seen of her...she will most probably yelled at me to shut up and rant on how bad I was to say her and I should be the one thinking about my bad behaviour and so on...
sigh....
Mum: "Let me catch you reading it again on the bed and I'll throw the book away"
Then, she forced us all to eat fruits, saying that we will get constipation if we don't (I don't mind eating fruits actually ^_^)
Then she had us drink packet ginseng that was bought from Eu Yen Seng. I believe it is rather expensive (she says so later...) and I have drank it before, and it tastes bitter but there is sweetness in it too. Anyway, my two sisters, do not like it at all. While I was in the study room typing my stupid journal reviews (sigh..don't wish to talk about it, I heard a big yell from my mum:
"NO! DON'T THROW THAT AWAY! DON'T THROW THAT AWAY! STILL CAN REUSE IT! I TELL YOU DON'T THROW AH!" and then she continued scolding my sister for throwing the ginseng packet away because it is expensive and can be reused twice. My elder sister is rather pissed actually, she don't like to drink ginseng and she hates my mum screaming at her. Anyway, she went into the study room where I am and look at what I was doing.
The next thing I heard from outside is loud thuds in my bedroom, and yells from my mum again:
"I TOLD YOU NOT TO READ ON THE BED YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ISIT! I'LL THROW THE BOOK AWAY IF I STILL SEE YOU ALL READ ON THE BED YOU KNOW! YAO ZI DONG YI DIAN!" Apparently, my younger sister started reading Harry Potter on the bed again.
My mum continues to rant on us reading on the bed and adds on to having phone conversations on the bed as well. Her famous words "yao zi dong yi dian" has been used more than once and all we do is just listen and do our own stuff.
Well, I don't understand why she had to yell at us. When I just returned home, my elder sister said that mum had yelled at her for not folding the washed clothes before dinner. Note yell/scream...not in a gentle way...
After she had her temper on us, she became more dormant and talks to us in a nice way...my elder sister says her friend says that my mum may have psychological problems and should be treated. I do not think so actually...it is either the menopause or just her usual mood swings...or she had a bad day today... whatever...
I didn't mean to rant on her...it is just that she gets to me at times. I know we (the sisters) are rather cold to her and we do not do any house chores. On Thursday, she forced us to sit down in front of her and she ranted on how we are not helping her, how she is a failure in bringing up such daughters, how we take this house for granted, that we are daughters and should do chores and not go out and meet friends, the list goes on.
I understand how she feels, afterall, I do feel that we are rather lazy and irresponsible. I had tried to understand her, please her, do what she wants but all she did is to demand more from me...and it came to a point where I do not know what she wants anymore.
Sometimes, I would like to walk to her and tell her how I feel about her, that her way of teaching is wrong, that scolding brings nothing but more frustration, that understanding us is important, be a supportive mother, not a demanding one...if she can respect us as an individual, I can tell you, our relationship with her will definitely be better...but I doubt I will ever tell her how I feel...I don't want to know how she will react, judging from what I have seen of her...she will most probably yelled at me to shut up and rant on how bad I was to say her and I should be the one thinking about my bad behaviour and so on...
sigh....
ironyv at Saturday, January 15, 2005
Monday, January 10, 2005
I am sick...woke up this morning to do my little business and brush my teeth. Unfortunately, before I could start brushing my teeth, I felt a sharp pain at the area around my stomach. It wasn't a stomachache, it was a sharp pierce that I felt. I was practically bending over to ease the pain...but it didn't work..Desperately, I struggled over to my bed and lay down, hoping the pain could go away.
Unfortunately for me, it got worse. I started burping gas from my stomach and I had the urge to vomit. I thought a stomach viral infection had stuck me again (the last time it did, I vomited four times throughout the night). I quickly bent-walked over to the bathroom and sat on the stool beside the toilet. By now, I was getting dizzy and could not even stand straight. I hurled myself to the stool with whatever strength that could carry me and closed my eyes, all the while breathing heavily.
The next thing i know, I was in cold sweat and when I failed to lift my hand up...my hand was heavy...I was in panic, because I told I might just going to faint there...and what will happen to my unfinished report that I need to hand in today??! I opened my eyes but I could not see anything!~ I was blind temporary!~ I couldn't see!
I closed my eyes again and this time, I relaxed my body and do deep breathing. After what seems ages, I felt better and when I opened my eyes, I could see again...although it is rather blur. I managed to walk out of the toilet, still bearing the pain and told my sister who just woke up that I need to see a doctor. We went down and was told that my stomach and intestines are weak and I guessed the food that I ate yesterday (laksa, lots of cashew nuts and a good dinner) had a negative effect on them...I was to eat porridge today and have my medication.
Dang...I was completely washed out today...I am still feeling dizzy and drowsy now...and feel a fever coming...or it is just my hands that are cold...sigh...I am sick...
I had a dream long time ago...that I am supposed to run, but when I started running, I could run fast...it was like the legs are so heavy, it become a slow motion run...just recalled the dream when my sister told me hers today at the doctor's clinic...^__^
Okay guys..hope you won't get sick!~ Take care.
Unfortunately for me, it got worse. I started burping gas from my stomach and I had the urge to vomit. I thought a stomach viral infection had stuck me again (the last time it did, I vomited four times throughout the night). I quickly bent-walked over to the bathroom and sat on the stool beside the toilet. By now, I was getting dizzy and could not even stand straight. I hurled myself to the stool with whatever strength that could carry me and closed my eyes, all the while breathing heavily.
The next thing i know, I was in cold sweat and when I failed to lift my hand up...my hand was heavy...I was in panic, because I told I might just going to faint there...and what will happen to my unfinished report that I need to hand in today??! I opened my eyes but I could not see anything!~ I was blind temporary!~ I couldn't see!
I closed my eyes again and this time, I relaxed my body and do deep breathing. After what seems ages, I felt better and when I opened my eyes, I could see again...although it is rather blur. I managed to walk out of the toilet, still bearing the pain and told my sister who just woke up that I need to see a doctor. We went down and was told that my stomach and intestines are weak and I guessed the food that I ate yesterday (laksa, lots of cashew nuts and a good dinner) had a negative effect on them...I was to eat porridge today and have my medication.
Dang...I was completely washed out today...I am still feeling dizzy and drowsy now...and feel a fever coming...or it is just my hands that are cold...sigh...I am sick...
I had a dream long time ago...that I am supposed to run, but when I started running, I could run fast...it was like the legs are so heavy, it become a slow motion run...just recalled the dream when my sister told me hers today at the doctor's clinic...^__^
Okay guys..hope you won't get sick!~ Take care.
ironyv at Monday, January 10, 2005
Friday, January 07, 2005
sorry...there is only one thing in my mind now....Exam! my Consumer Behaviour lecturer had given us a take home exam..supposed to do it through the weekend and pass it up on Monday...so I have no TIME!!~~~~
Okay...talk again on monday...
Okay...talk again on monday...
ironyv at Friday, January 07, 2005
Thursday, January 06, 2005
Good Morning!~ I woke up pretty early by myself today...dreamed something that simply ended and I woke up after that.... -_-''
Anyway, morning is where I stoned and stared around till I adjust to my sleepy head...but I am quite okay now...I realised that the title format that I have chosen had forced me to write more specific topics...like for morning, I think I will touch on my usual mornings and maybe breakfast...
Okay, breakfast...I don't think you would want to hear about my usual morning..they are boring...so..breakfast...I ate what my parents bought for me...but nowadays, I do not have to energy nor appetite to eat up those greasy but delicious breakie such as roti prata, 'zui' 'kui', bee hoon, etc... And I am slowly losing my appetite on most of my days too...of course, I have occasional urges to eat more...like during my pms periods and exam periods...
One breakfast I really really love is Mcdonald's breakfast meals...they are like my favourite! Among the meals, I especially love the Big Breakfast and the Sausage McMuffin with Egg...the ingredients are the same, but Mcdonalds cooked in differently...
Okay...next topic..New Year Clothes! Hmm...I have bought some clothes last year when I am still working and had never wore them yet! So, these clothes shall be my new year clothes as well...I will be going for T-shirt and jeans this year, so will be hanging out at Far East Plaza to buy my stuff..cheaper goods there too...Most likely buy one girly top and thats good enough for me..hehe....Fretting now because I am so consumed with my projects now and I might not be able to enjoy my new year at all..sigh...
I am still searching answers for my religion...I am basically a buddhist/taoist...but I believe my family is slanted towards taoism...I admit I am a spiritual person, and would like to have a religion that suits me...some religion that can help to change me to be a better girl...Have been searching since last year, and I can say, Christianity is out of my way...not that I don't like christianity, but I can't find my answers there...and I am not bad mouthing any religion, because I respect them all...I only dislike the CHC thats all...
I am looking for answers in Buddhism...no, I am not going to be nun, eat vegetables everyday and chant sutras till the end of my life...there are alot of buddhism teachings and I am looking at one of them now...Nichiren Shoshu is the biggest japanese buddhism sect in Japan. You can still do whatever things you want to do in your life, just that after you join the sect, you might think pubbing/clubbing is unneccessary...I don't know about me...because if I am really going to believe in Nichiren Shoshu, I might still go for pubbing, since I only have one life to live...but who knows, my mind will change for the better and I might become a more spiritual person (no, I won't float while meditating), become more gentle, less hot tempered, less mood swings..etc... ^__^
I am just worried about my family...Nichiren Shoshu is buddhism, but my main religion is still taoism...I would need to think about the clash and before I walked into this religion, I will want to seek approval from my family, my parents and my boyfriend..why boyfriend? Because he may well become my future husband and he will be in my life most of the time...so it is best if I seek opinions from these people...
But one wonders, ain't religion supposed to be chosen by you and yourself only? Yes, my mind may soon belief in buddhism more than taoism, but my change will bring about changes to my family, to my friends and my boyfriend..so it is not easy for me to just change a religion like that...I guess if I wanted to be a christian, the change will be even bigger... -_-'' I guess I need more answers to buddhism before I decide...I am trying to find myself along the way...so at 21 years old, I need more time and space to look at my life...
Okay, stop here for now...supposed to bath now to watch phantom of the opera with my boyfriend!!~~ >__< love him 'cos he didn't want to watch it but watch it with me when I have no one to watch with me!!!!!! Love you!!!
Anyway, morning is where I stoned and stared around till I adjust to my sleepy head...but I am quite okay now...I realised that the title format that I have chosen had forced me to write more specific topics...like for morning, I think I will touch on my usual mornings and maybe breakfast...
Okay, breakfast...I don't think you would want to hear about my usual morning..they are boring...so..breakfast...I ate what my parents bought for me...but nowadays, I do not have to energy nor appetite to eat up those greasy but delicious breakie such as roti prata, 'zui' 'kui', bee hoon, etc... And I am slowly losing my appetite on most of my days too...of course, I have occasional urges to eat more...like during my pms periods and exam periods...
One breakfast I really really love is Mcdonald's breakfast meals...they are like my favourite! Among the meals, I especially love the Big Breakfast and the Sausage McMuffin with Egg...the ingredients are the same, but Mcdonalds cooked in differently...
Okay...next topic..New Year Clothes! Hmm...I have bought some clothes last year when I am still working and had never wore them yet! So, these clothes shall be my new year clothes as well...I will be going for T-shirt and jeans this year, so will be hanging out at Far East Plaza to buy my stuff..cheaper goods there too...Most likely buy one girly top and thats good enough for me..hehe....Fretting now because I am so consumed with my projects now and I might not be able to enjoy my new year at all..sigh...
I am still searching answers for my religion...I am basically a buddhist/taoist...but I believe my family is slanted towards taoism...I admit I am a spiritual person, and would like to have a religion that suits me...some religion that can help to change me to be a better girl...Have been searching since last year, and I can say, Christianity is out of my way...not that I don't like christianity, but I can't find my answers there...and I am not bad mouthing any religion, because I respect them all...I only dislike the CHC thats all...
I am looking for answers in Buddhism...no, I am not going to be nun, eat vegetables everyday and chant sutras till the end of my life...there are alot of buddhism teachings and I am looking at one of them now...Nichiren Shoshu is the biggest japanese buddhism sect in Japan. You can still do whatever things you want to do in your life, just that after you join the sect, you might think pubbing/clubbing is unneccessary...I don't know about me...because if I am really going to believe in Nichiren Shoshu, I might still go for pubbing, since I only have one life to live...but who knows, my mind will change for the better and I might become a more spiritual person (no, I won't float while meditating), become more gentle, less hot tempered, less mood swings..etc... ^__^
I am just worried about my family...Nichiren Shoshu is buddhism, but my main religion is still taoism...I would need to think about the clash and before I walked into this religion, I will want to seek approval from my family, my parents and my boyfriend..why boyfriend? Because he may well become my future husband and he will be in my life most of the time...so it is best if I seek opinions from these people...
But one wonders, ain't religion supposed to be chosen by you and yourself only? Yes, my mind may soon belief in buddhism more than taoism, but my change will bring about changes to my family, to my friends and my boyfriend..so it is not easy for me to just change a religion like that...I guess if I wanted to be a christian, the change will be even bigger... -_-'' I guess I need more answers to buddhism before I decide...I am trying to find myself along the way...so at 21 years old, I need more time and space to look at my life...
Okay, stop here for now...supposed to bath now to watch phantom of the opera with my boyfriend!!~~ >__< love him 'cos he didn't want to watch it but watch it with me when I have no one to watch with me!!!!!! Love you!!!
ironyv at Thursday, January 06, 2005
Monday, January 03, 2005
HAPPY NEW YEAR!~
Okay, I think I am very late....anyway, lets start the new 2005 post on a positive note!~
I will be going on a Japan trip in March...early March to be exact...it will be a free and easy thingy...am organising it myself, looking for stuff and places to go...Reason for not going for an organised trip is because, I will be visiting my japanese host family who lives in Okayama. Okayama is a province that is beside Osaka...not close, but situated near Osaka. Can't wait to go!!!!~~~~
Class had started on December, and because this is a summer school, it is a bloody short term!!~~ February I will have my exam (1 exam...-_-'') So for January, it will be project month!!! argh...
Anyway, I am supposed to have my New Year Resolution out...but I decided....I shall not have any resolutions this year!!!!!! Why?? Because, every year, I came out with my resolutions and they never never accomplished them...maybe resolutions are just for fun..haha...But one goal must die die achieved it to go to Japan and to score well in all my exams!
-_-'' is for myself...I am in a crappy mood now...good night peps!
Okay, I think I am very late....anyway, lets start the new 2005 post on a positive note!~
I will be going on a Japan trip in March...early March to be exact...it will be a free and easy thingy...am organising it myself, looking for stuff and places to go...Reason for not going for an organised trip is because, I will be visiting my japanese host family who lives in Okayama. Okayama is a province that is beside Osaka...not close, but situated near Osaka. Can't wait to go!!!!~~~~
Class had started on December, and because this is a summer school, it is a bloody short term!!~~ February I will have my exam (1 exam...-_-'') So for January, it will be project month!!! argh...
Anyway, I am supposed to have my New Year Resolution out...but I decided....I shall not have any resolutions this year!!!!!! Why?? Because, every year, I came out with my resolutions and they never never accomplished them...maybe resolutions are just for fun..haha...But one goal must die die achieved it to go to Japan and to score well in all my exams!
-_-'' is for myself...I am in a crappy mood now...good night peps!
ironyv at Monday, January 03, 2005